Ping pong table: Some assembly required...

PingPongPaddle

This weekend, I got a bug in my proverbial bonnet about getting a ping pong table for the house to go into the new multi-purpose area that was previously a storage area in the unconstructed warehouse that I've called home for almost 14 years now.

The only problem being that most ping pong tables are green and the freshly painted multi-purpose room has a medium blue floor with white walls except for the foam green walls and trim around the bedroom near the back door of the place.  The French doors are white to offset the trim being foam green.  I guess a ping pong table that is green would go fine in there but I just thought if it were blue it would be a better fit with the room colors.

Off to craigslist I go after a brief internet search turned up lots of way too expensive tables that are for much more serious players than the ones I'll be matched up against.  Surprisingly, I found a good deal of ping pong tables for sale and even found a blue one in Alameda which is right around the corner from our place.

So, I called one party in North San Jose and then emailed back about the blue one in Alameda.  Both were around $125 and I had to come get them.  Ping pong tables don't fit in a normal sized car.

When I received an email back from the Alameda ad, the girl who replied said that someone had already called about it and was coming on the weekend to have a look.  I waited until Sunday to see if they would actually show up and when I saw that they had, I decided to get off my arse and head over to Sports Authority to see what they had on offer.

When I arrived, I had a hard time finding the section where they were but eventually, I found a nice gentleman who answered all of my questions and even went to look in the back to see if there were any more of the cheapest model they sold, which looked like it was blue.  

After several minutes, he came back and sure enough, they had one left.  I set the wheels in motion and he got me started on the paper work for the brand new table that was only $149, or about $25 more than the two used ones.  No clue as to which models the used ones were.

First, I had to call U-Haul and see if I could get a truck on short notice.  I call the 800 number and eventually get someone on the phone.  They say someone will call me back within a hour so I wait for the call and wait to ring up at the counter since I'm in no big hurry until I hear back from U-Haul.  After telling the Sports Authority checker I was in no hurry, it seemed like all of San Leandro and the surrounding burbclaves descended on the check out line from out of nowhere in the store and eventually, I decided I should get in line and pay for the danged thing.  Then I realized that I had no paddles or balls so I went to get those too.

After paying for the table, paddles and balls, and getting my O'Hana Hawaiian Barbacue on next door, I finally got a call back from U-Haul and the race was on.  It was 3:00PM and I had to go home, pick up my roommate, drive over to the U-Haul, drive to the store and get the ping pong table, return to the house to drop it off, return the rental to U-Haul and have someone pick me up so that I could get home to put it together.  Wuff.  Amazingly, the plan worked with plenty of time to spare.  I had until 5PM on Sunday when U-Haul closed or I would've had to drop it off and push the keys through the slot but I managed to get back with the truck to U-Haul by about 4:30PM.  Now back to the house for the assembly.

Some assembly required in the case of this ping pong table, interestingly called The Shadow, was a horrible understatement.  I have to ask this question every time I see these assembly pamphlets.  Who makes these things?  They are terrible!  The diagram was so convoluted that I couldn't see straight after trying to figure out which bolt was #9 in the book and then checking the hardware guide for a 1 and 1/2 inch hex bolt, not to mention the safety strap blow up diagram which was essentially undecipherable and useless.  After all of that hassle, the legs wouldn't go down correctly, so back to the drawing board some more, trying to wiggle and figgle bolts, washers and nuts until the legs would sit just right.

Next, the attachment of both sides of the table basically required three and a half people to complete.  Someone to hold each side and someone else to screw in the name plates that said "The Shadow" on them which also connected the two halves of the table together.  Even the safety latch instructions were ridiculous.  How is it that the people who write these things see fit to compress what should be four pages and at least two diagrams into one page with only one diagram?  And we're supposed to figure all of this stuff out without a magic decoder ring?  Sheesh.

The legs still don't stay collapsed all the way onto the back of the table when its folded up and we haven't gotten to play ping pong yet as the floor was painted last night for one last coat but hopefully, tonight or tomorrow evening I will be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor this weekend that began at around 2PM on Sunday and after the 3 hour assembly of the table and ended around 10PM Sunday night.  There are sore muscles on my body that I forgot I had.

I was on my knees so much putting this thing together that I inflamed my right knee again.  I had a serious click in imy right knee when I bent down on it for months and once in a while it gets really sore and I can barely walk for a few days.  So, now I'm now crippled from this damned ping pong table assembly nightmare to boot!  Maybe the $75 delivery fee plus the $30 for assembly of the thing would've been worth paying for after all.  Hopefully, we'll be playing ping pong sometime before the end of March, provided that I don't need arthroscopic surgery.